when climbing a fence

i think there is a method to {fence} jumping
not that i have hopped a lot of fences or mastered it
but
there is a .right. & .wrong. way to do it
usually it's e-a-s-y
climb up. hoist yourself over. just jump down
----> right
----> um wrong
what if your hands are occupied
-----------------------------------------------------
here is the story... {long} version

on saturday night i went to a friend's to play monopoly
it was midnight by the time we finished
----- time to walk to the bus -----
it was dark
in the middle of a grassy pasture
we had to walk through it
& jump (well more like step) over a fence before we reached the bus stop
this was a little chicken wire fence about {4} feet high
---easy---
when i arrived earlier that night it gave me no problems
---now---

i wasn't heavily loaded. i just had my shoulder purse
& i took on a cup of wine to carry for a friend
that she didn't {ever} benifit from...
forshadow for ya

so we left
as we were approaching the lil' fence i thought nothing of it
everything intact
i was .confident. of my footing on the other side
so i stuck one foot through the fence
swung my leg up & over
my first leg passed over the fence without touching it & without problem
then i positioned that heel in the fence
as i shifted the weight from back leg to front leg
that was when my {fatal} mistake occured
i chose to use no hands (remember one had a glass of wine & the other my bag)
"your foot may snag the fence chels"
was what i thought in my head at that moment

gravity was {not} my friend
because of the floppy fence.. the shift in weight sent me plummiting forward
while my heel & leg shot back through the fence
face first.. nothing to stop me.. i slammed into the ground
we are talking ----> sprawled out in the mud
like a starfish on sand
nothing to catch my fall as i went down
the glass of wine went sailing into the air & conveniently landed all over my shirt, hair & face
i was a wet cat
i screamed a loud high pitched yelp
{so pathetic}
& i heard a roar of laughter
the 2 girls before me had successfully climbed the fence
& the only reason they would hear a scream is if i hadn't made it over

there i was
bloody toe, wine spilled on my shirt and hair, little dirt on my cheeks, bruise the size of a papaya on my calf (still unaware of how that got there)


and i laughed hard
but still had to get up & run to the bus stop
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so for anyone thinking of climbing a fence soon.. some tips for you:

some shoes are better for climbing fences then others
make sure you know what is on the other side of the fence
you are guaranteed a better performance if you are well balanced
never have any baggy clothing or obstructive objects in your hands.. this {can} cause embarrassment


fence 1 chelsea 0
until we meet again